Can I be cross with someone who has cancer?
And I get cross with him; I get cross when he puts his gym bag on the work surface – again. (‘Don’t you know how many germs there are on the bottom of that bag and I am going to cook food there soon’ I shout) . I get cross when I drag myself out of bed at some obscene hour and he mumbles ‘do you want any help’ and promptly goes back to sleep. And I get cross when he gets up from the table and leaves me to clear up. Shall I go on? I guess not – you get the picture. All very normal irritations – ask any couple – they will have a similar list of ‘wrongdoings’.
But of course, I feel monumentally guilty. ‘Poor man’ I hear you cry ‘just be grateful he’s still alive’. ‘Leave him alone, he’s doing his best’ , you scold. But his cancer doesn’t soothe my irritation. Cancer or not, you still have the ability to p**s me off !
So, shall I bite my tongue or just let rip? I think the answer lies somewhere in between. Nowhere does it say that having cancer absolves you from all social norms or from all those little rules that we have in our lives. But he might not be having the best of days, so where he puts his gym bag might not be the most important thing on his mind. Love does mean saying sorry every now and again. What do you think?